THE COLD WIND OF THE BADGEROOS
Written by
Dewi Griffiths
Copyright Dewi Griffiths 2006/2019
1 EXT. REMOTE WELSH FARMYARD – NIGHT 1
Lightening flashes across the night sky above the remote
Welsh mountain farm. Sheep are braying in alarm. Thunder
cracks. Another monstrous unnatural sound fills the air. An
ungodly howl!
JOHN (18) a shepherd runs for dear life towards the farmhouse
across the deserted farmyard.
The lightening throws a huge monstrous shadow behind him. He
is being chased by a creature across the farmyard. The
creature is jumping and bounding unnaturally. It gives out a
chilling howl in anger.
John reaches the front door of the farmhouse – it is jammed.
John struggles with the door. The frightening shadow catches
up with him. John looks over his shoulder in horror.
Looming over him is a strange hybrid beast – with the head of
a badger, but the body of a kangaroo. THE BADGEROO. The
crazed beast snarls…
JOHN
Flossy! Don’t you recognise your
old pal?
The Badgeroo howls and punches John who falls to the ground.
JOHN (CONT’D)
Flossy please!?! After all that
I’ve done for you!!!
The Badgeroo stops. Chews for a moment deep in thought –
DISSOLVE TO:
2 EXT. REMOTE WELSH FARMYARD – DAY 2
Caption: “Ten Years Earlier”
An aerial view of the same farmstead. Sheep grazing
peacefully on the hillside.
A dilapidated old Ford Transit van drives up the rough track
towards the farm. On the side of the van is painted “Bruce
Cabot’s World Famous Boxing Kangaroo”
John (8), now a little boy is playing football in the farm
yard as the van pulls up. His father, The FARMER (45) pulls
the child back.
2.
FARMER
(To the little boy)
John – keep back – its some bloody
foreigner!
The little boy hides behind his father. The burly farmer
approaches the van with shotgun at the ready
FARMER (CONT’D)
Get off my land b’ere…
BRUCE
G’day – I’ve lost my roo, mate. You
seen it?
FARMER
Speak English mun, you’re in Wales
now.
BRUCE
My prize boxing kangaroo has
escaped – just down the road there
– can you help me look for it?
The Farmer cocks the shotgun.
BRUCE (CONT’D)
(Smiling insincerely)
Please?
3 EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – DAY 3
A KANGAROO, smoking a Woodbine cigarette looks down on the
farm from the hill above.
It watches the van in the farm yard, with Bruce, the Farmer
and young John making their way across the farmyard in its
general direction.
It gulps, turns to hop off but stops in its tracks as it sees
a beautiful lady BADGER on the hillside nearby.
The Badger stops in its tracks in front of the strange
animal…
Romantic music swells as the two animals look loving at each
other.
3.
The Kangaroo looks back to see the three humans, gulps. It
looks back at the Badger, shrugs and smiles sweetly.
CUT TO:
4 EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – DAY 4
John runs to keep pace behind the Farmer and Bruce as they
climb the mountain.
They slow as they reach the crest of the hill. Smoke is
rising from just up ahead.
The Farmer cocks his shotgun. Bruce grabs his shoulder,
shaking his head.
BRUCE
No worries. She’ll be apples mate.
FARMER
I am having difficulty
understanding you. Are you from
London?
The smoke gets thicker.
The two men look fearfully at each other. John runs passed
them to see…
5 EXT. MOUNTAIN GULLY – DAY 5
The Kangaroo and Badger are each lying on their backs smoking
Woodbines. They wave to John.
John waves back. Suddenly Bruce and the Farmer rush passed
him.
The Kangaroo hops towards them, punching both men wildly. The
Farmer’s head rocks back and fore like a punchball. Bruce
jumps on the Kangaroo holding it down.
John looks on in fear. He sees the Badger run away across the
mountain side.
The Badger looks back and sees John – who waves at it. It
waves back.
6 EXT. REMOTE WELSH FARMYARD – DAY 6
Bruce’s van has the crazed boxing Kangaroo in the back. The
van rocks as the Kangaroo kicks out.
4.
Bruce checks the rear door and climbs into the driving seat.
BRUCE
Thanks Cobber!
FARMER
Aye. Cobblers to you too mate.
The van drives away.
John looks up at the Farmer, who now sports two black eyes
and no teeth.
FARMER (CONT’D)
John boy, you explain this to your
mother alright?
7 EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – DAY 7
Young John is watching the sheep graze on the mountain. He is
unaware that something is sneaking up behind him. He turns
around but there is nothing there.
John reads a book. “The Glorious Book of the Wonders of
Cardiff City FC”. He gets engrossed in the book. Something is
moving behind him again.
Something taps him on the shoulder – he jumps, startled.
Behind him is the pregnant Badger – who holds out a paw
imploringly
John can’t work out what the Badger wants, looking at him
with big brown eyes.
JOHN
I can’t understand you see. I’m
studying b’ere. I want to play for
the greatest football team in the
world ever.
The Badger whines.
John scratches his head. He fishes in his pockets for a pack
of cigarettes and pops one in his mouth – the badger jumps up
and down in excitement.
The Badger grabs the packet of cigarettes.
JOHN (CONT’D)
Steady now, you shouldn’t be
smoking in your condition!
5.
8 EXT. REMOTE WELSH FARMYARD – DAY 8
Its winter. Snow lies thick on the ground. – John is wearing
a thick coat and bobble hat as he kicks a football against
the barn wall.
Behind him the Badger pops its head over the wall.
JOHN
I told you – no more fags, you’re
too expensive to keep mun!
The Badger looks forlorn and raises a shaking paw and lets
out an unnatural howl
JOHN (CONT’D)
Oh heck…
9 INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY 9
The living room is decorated for Christmas. Young John tends
the badger and holds the BABY BADGEROO in a blanket tenderly.
The Badger smokes a Woodbine.
The Farmer comes in – and takes in the scene.
FARMER
You! Badger! Put that bloody
cigarette out! John, what’s that
you got b’there?
JOHN
It’s a Badgeroo dad
FARMER
Well, it can only stay if it pays
its own way. Teach it to do
something useful like round up
sheep.
JOHN
Ok. I’m going to call him Flossy.
He’s going to be a professional
footballer. Just like me.
10 10
EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – DAY
A glorious summer’s day. Young John is watching the sheep on
the mountainside – the Baby Badgeroo hops around him
excitedly, as John kicks him the football.
6.
The pass the ball back and forward…
CUT TO:
11 EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – DAY 11
The grown up John passes the ball to the grown up Badgeroo.
12 EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – EVENING 12
As the sun sets, the two friends play – box each other.
Thunder rolls.
The Badgeroo throws a punch. John is knocked down and laughs.
John and the Badgeroo wrestle on the ground. John reaches
into the Badgeroo’s pouch and takes out a pack of Woodbines.
John runs off down the mountainside towards the farm holding
the pack of Woodbines.
Lightning flashes across the sky.
The Badgeroo growls in anger.
JOHN
Flossy, calm down, Flossy, – oh
heck
The Badgeroo howls unnaturally and waves its fists in the
air.
The Badgeroo gives chase to John – who runs off as the
Badgeroo hops after him.
Both caper off down the mountainside as the sun sets.
13 EXT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT 13
Thunder flashes once more. The shadow of the Badgeroo looms
over John who is at the door to the farmhouse, unable to get
inside.
Badgeroo which raises itself over John menacingly.
JOHN
(Letting out a sigh)
Ok, ok, here you are Flossy, don’t
get so excited mun!
John produces the packet of Woodbines and passes it to the
creature.
The Badgeroo lets out a sigh of contentment.
7.
BADGEROO
Light?
John sighs and produces a cigarette lighter.
14 INT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT 14
John and the Badgeroo sit in the firelight. The room is
decorated with Cardiff City FC banners and memorabilia.
The Badgeroo is puffing on a cigarette. John is reading his
Cardiff City FC book.
JOHN
We need to train harder. Cardiff
may be back in the Premiership
soon.
The Badgeroo looks excited. Jumping up and down in his chair.
JOHN (CONT’D)
But smoking slows you down. Unless
you stop it you’ll never play for
Cardiff.
The Badgeroo whines in disappointment.
BADGEROO
Australian League? Yeah?
THE END
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